I really don’t follow Kpop news. As a matter of fact, I really don’t like Kpop at all. Not that I hate it, since hate is such a strong word. I just don’t like it, plain and simple. But lately, I have been kind of following this latest scandal involving Kim Hyun Joong. My curiosity just got the better of me since it’s not everyday that I read news about an idol star being accused of mauling an ex-girlfriend on more than one occasion.
Recently, Kim Hyun Joong has been embroiled in a scandal when his ex-girlfriend had accused him of domestic violence for the past two years during their relationship. It’s also because of this that there have been lots of online arguments between his fans and the common netizens. His girlfriend, known only as Miss A, demanded a public apology from him and for him to admit what he did to her. Yesterday, he finally issued an apology on his website. I have read his apology but I won’t go into much detail about it. Basically, he admitted to the physical assault that she accused him of for the past two years that they were together. He also apologized to her family and her friends, and promised to do his best to change for the better. For me, his apology is too formal, like someone wrote it for him. I just hope he really wrote that and that he’s sincere about it. Otherwise, that apology is just one big fat sham, only written in order to put a stop to this controversy.
As for Miss A, I admire her integrity throughout this ordeal. She doesn’t want money or anything. She only wants him to admit to his wrongdoings and to sincerely apologize to her for what he did. But I also pity her because she is one classic example of a battered woman. She tends to withdraw after he apologizes. Why? Maybe because she once loved him. Or worst yet, she still loves him after what he did to her. Maybe the reason why Kim Hyun Joong had physically assaulted her over and over again during their relationship was because she had been so forgiving and only too willing to give him more chances. Unfortunately for her, once a man lay a hand on a woman, he can easily do it again, over and over, and much easier for him to do it too. If I were Miss A, I’d take him straight to the cleaners, make him pay dearly for what he did, and make sure that no other woman would suffer the same fate as she did in his vile hands. But I am not her. I am not the one who suffered such physical abuse. She alone can decide what must be done because she is her own person. I just hope that she makes the right decision and doesn’t regret anything in the end.
It’s only sad that despite Kim Hyun Joong’s admission of his fault, most of his fans still have the nerve to call the woman a liar and money-hungry, someone who only seeks revenge because he “dumped” her and now wants to destroy his career. It’s okay with me if his fans still choose to idolize him. But please, spare the poor woman the indignities just because her revelation had marred their fantasies of him. If they still want to follow him, then by all means do so, but do it with open eyes and, most especially, with open minds. They should not be blinded by the fact that he really did beat her up to a pulp several times during their relationship. They should stop convincing themselves with the lie that he really did not physically assault her and that his apology is just a gallant act from him just to save her face, because it just isn’t so. Ponder on this: why would he admit to physically assaulting his ex-girlfriend knowing it would mar his character for the rest of his life? There are times when one has to give in and let the other party win. But what happened here clearly isn’t one of them. He knows there’s no other way out. He just had to grit his teeth and do it, and pray hard his fans would be blind enough to still accept him. It’s very clear that he only issued that public apology as soon as possible because he’s trying to save his neck from further public persecution and also from the law. If his fans are still going to accept him and embrace him after this scandal, then they are all welcome to do so. But do so with the knowledge that he did physically assault a woman, and rather severely too, that it’s not just the kind where there’s a simple slap on the face nor a tight grip on the arm, but the kind where she ended up in a hospital bed for weeks just to recuperate from her injuries that he had inflicted on her body.
If his fans would still want to place him upon a pedestal without believing in the real facts, but rather still believing in the illusion of him as the perfect man who can’t even hurt a fly, then all that adoration is nothing but a lie. That’s why I admire fans who know how to accept celebrities as human beings with flaws, and not as the demigods who can do no wrong. Fans who like a certain celebrity this way are the truest fans. They’re the ones that usually stay the longest with that celebrity. Those fans who could not accept their idol’s flaws are not true fans, because they only like a spotless and flawless celebrity, someone who must never dare to be caught doing anything out of the usual norm. These shallow fans want perfection in an otherwise imperfect world, which is just next to impossible.
I know that for the diehard fans of Kim Hyun Joong, the fact that their idol physically assaulted his ex-girlfriend more than once is really very hard to take and swallow. I also understand that because of this whole incident, his fans must be hurting right now like deep shit, almost like a physical pain of being stabbed deeply inside their chests. But they must also know and understand that acceptance is always the first step to healing, that only with acceptance can there be recovery.
On a positive note for his fans, all is not yet lost with their idol. If there is one sentence in his apology that I really like, it’s this one right here:
“I have done what a man should never do and feel very ashamed.”
If he really did write that apology, that it truly came from his heart, and not just a creation of some ghost writer, then there’s still hope for him. If only for that one single line right there, his fans can still be proud of him.
P.S. For those fans who still keep on demanding that Miss A should show her face to the public to prove that she’s telling the truth, please stop being that stupid and think twice what you are asking from her. Even anyone with half the common sense knows that that’s foolhardy. Heaven knows what those crazed fans would do to her once they find out who she is.